[{"bf_titre":"6 Signs He Might Think You\u0027re \u0022The One\u0022","bf_description":"{{attach file=\u00228544612x612.jpg\u0022 desc=\u0022\u0022 size=\u0022big\u0022 class=\u0022center\u0022 caption=\u0022image 8544612x612.jpg (26.3kB)\u0022 nofullimagelink=\u00221\u0022}}\r\nWhat makes a man choose you? What makes him say, she is the one for me, and want to commit to you and only you? You probably aren\u2019t the only woman he finds attractive. To be real, he may even find somebody else more attractive. In spite of all that, when you come to mind, he thinks you are \u201cthe one.\u201d\r\n\r\nI was reading an article in the Huffington Post about two men in a bar who had their eye on one particular woman. One man criticized the other for not having any game for missing out on an opportunity to \u201cgive her a (pick up) line.\u201d This guy had all the answers, and all the game, according to him. Only at the end of the night, only one of them, the one with \u201cno game,\u201d walked out with a phone number.\r\n\u0022\u0022\u003Ccenter\u0022\u0022\r\nLooking For Single Men in the US? Try Loveawake Dating Site\r\n\r\n[[https:\/\/www.loveawake.com\/free-online-dating\/United-States\/state-of-California.html?gender=male Men Dating In California]] | [[https:\/\/www.loveawake.com\/free-online-dating\/United-States\/state-of-Michigan.html?gender=male Meet Michigan Single Men]] | [[https:\/\/www.loveawake.com\/free-online-dating\/United-States\/state-of-Oklahoma.html?gender=male Dating Oklahoma Boys]] | [[https:\/\/www.loveawake.com\/free-online-dating\/United-States\/state-of-Pennsylvania.html?gender=male Pennsylvania Boys Seeking Dating]] | [[https:\/\/www.loveawake.com\/free-online-dating\/United-States\/state-of-Indiana.html?gender=female Indiana Men Online]] | [[https:\/\/www.loveawake.com\/free-online-dating\/United-States\/state-of-Colorado.html?gender=female Colorado Boys Dating]]\u0022\u0022\u003C\/center\u0022\u0022\r\nThe girl was apparently impressed with the guy who didn\u2019t have game. This seems a little strange because it sometimes seems the guy with the most game, the most wit, or the most charm is the one who impresses the girl. This made me think about what impresses guys, or what leads him to think you are \u201cthe one.\u201d It\u2019s not completely about her \u201cgame,\u201d which to a man is her looks.\r\n\r\n**Here are a handful of reasons he might think you are \u201cthe one\u201d:**\r\n\r\n====1.) You are real.====\r\nYou are who you are, and you are consistent with it. No matter the setting or who you are around, he sees the same genuine person.  And he likes this person. He knows exactly what or who he is going to get when he is with you. I remember when dating my wife, that she was the same in all situations. That meant she was true to me.\r\n\r\n====2.) You are a lady.====\r\nI can remember when my wife and I we were interested in dating each other, how much of a lady she was. Poise, posture, and all of that. We hung out in clubs, with friends\u2019 places, or at Denny\u2019s, and she always commanded the respect of a lady. She made me want to open up doors, and pull out her chair, just by the way she carried herself. I soon thought she was \u201cthe one.\u201d\r\n\r\n====3.) You don\u2019t need him, but you want him.====\r\nIt\u2019s cool when she is all over you, but that might not make him think you are \u201cthe one.\u201d It actually may make him think you are desperate or needy. Neither of which he wants. What he wants is someone who doesn\u2019t need him but wants him. When he knows you will still be okay without him, but you still want to be with him, then he might think you are \u201cthe one.\u201d\r\n\r\n====4.) You aren\u2019t afraid to speak your mind, but you are respectful when doing so.====\r\nMy wife has always been quiet, until she has something on her mind. Then she\u2019ll say what she has to say. But she always has respect for me and whoever she is speaking her mind to. That made me think she might be \u201cthe one\u201d because I dated some girls who spoke their mind constantly, which was cool, but it wasn\u2019t always respectful.\r\n\r\n====5.) He trusts you with his heart.====\r\nIf he doesn\u2019t trust you, he will never think you are \u201cthe one.\u201d Men have feelings too. We typically don\u2019t let them be known, until we think she is \u201cthe one.\u201d At that point, we are so wide open that a breach in trust can do some serious damage to us (and our male ego). When he trusts you completely, he might think you are \u201cthe one.\u201d\r\n\r\n====6.) He hasn\u2019t quite figured you out yet.====\r\nTo this day, after being married for more than 12 years, and knowing one another for over 20 years, I still learn new stuff about my wife. And I love it! It seems I still don\u2019t have her completely figured out, which makes it fun and exciting. I like learning and I really like learning new stuff about my wife. When there is still something for him to experience with you, he might think you are \u201cthe one.\u201d\r\n\r\nWhen did you know he thought you were \u201cthe one?\u201d","bf_date_debut_evenement":"2022-04-18","bf_date_fin_evenement":"2022-04-18","bf_site_internet":"","bf_adresse":"","bf_code_postal":"","bf_ville":"","id_typeannonce":"2","id_fiche":"6SignsHeMightThinkYouReTheOne","date_creation_fiche":"2025-04-18 12:15:39","statut_fiche":"1","imagebf_image":"","fichierfichier":"","date_maj_fiche":"2025-04-18 12:15:39","bf_geolocation":{"latitude":"","longitude":"","geometries":""},"user":"185.107.162.250","owner":"","html_data":"data-bf_date_debut_evenement=\u00222022-04-18\u0022 data-bf_date_fin_evenement=\u00222022-04-18\u0022 data-id_typeannonce=\u00222\u0022 data-id_fiche=\u00226SignsHeMightThinkYouReTheOne\u0022 data-date_creation_fiche=\u00222025-04-18 12:15:39\u0022 data-statut_fiche=\u00221\u0022 data-date_maj_fiche=\u00222025-04-18 12:15:39\u0022 ","url":"https:\/\/lesromanesques.fr\/?6SignsHeMightThinkYouReTheOne","-is-external-":"0"},{"bf_titre":"12 Steps to Dating Success  ","bf_description":"{{attach file=\u0022212095006612x612.jpg\u0022 desc=\u0022\u0022 size=\u0022big\u0022 class=\u0022center\u0022 caption=\u0022image 212095006612x612.jpg (40.2kB)\u0022 nofullimagelink=\u00221\u0022}}\r\nIf I offered you a crash course on dating that would reveal the secrets for your success in a simple strategy that goes beyond winning in love, to include winning in the business, and in life, would you try it? Moreover, if I challenged you to examine your concepts of dating and your perception of failure and rejection, would you accept the challenge? Let\u0027s find out. \r\n\r\n\u0022\u0022\u003Ccenter\u003E\u0022\u0022\r\n**Sponsored Ads**  \r\nLooking For Lonely Singles? Try Loveawake Free Dating Site:  \r\n[[https:\/\/www.loveawake.com\/free-online-dating\/Bahrain-dating-service.html?page=48 Dating App For Lonely in Bahrain]] | [[https:\/\/www.loveawake.com\/free-online-dating\/Ireland-dating-service.html?page=48 Irish Lonely Mates]] | [[https:\/\/www.loveawake.com\/free-online-dating\/Norway-dating-service.html?page=48 Lonely Singles in Norway]] | [[https:\/\/www.loveawake.com\/free-online-dating\/Malta-dating-service.html?page=48 Lonely in Malta]] | [[https:\/\/www.loveawake.com\/free-online-dating\/Oman-dating-service.html?page=48 Alone In Oman]] | [[https:\/\/www.loveawake.com\/free-online-dating\/New-Zealand-dating-service.html?page=48 Dating Site For Lonely People In New Zealand]] \u0022\u0022\u003Ccenter\u003E\u0022\u0022\r\n====Lesson 1: First Impressions Count!====\r\nThey are immediate, long lasting, and usually permanent. Regardless of how great you are, and no matter how sweet you can be once someone gets to know you, the reality is, your dating success will be based almost entirely upon the other person\u2019s initial sense of who and what you are. Do you have a second chance to make a positive first impression? The experts say, no.\r\n====Lesson 2: If you want the part, look the part!====\r\nStatistics show that how we appear speaks more about us, and is more important, than what we say verbally. Moreover, though it may not get you all the way to your objective, it will get your foot in the door. Remember the old adage, \u201dDress for who you want to be, not who you are.\u201d It is as true in business as it is in love.\r\n====Lesson 3: Act the part====\r\nIt is a fact that in our personal affairs, as in all our business dealings, success, just as it will negatively affect your success in we sell ourselves first. Poor attitude, image, and behavior will adversely affect your dating business. \r\n\r\n====Lesson 4: Be the part====\r\nThe initial impression you make on a prospective date predicts whether she (or he) will take the time to get to know you. Dating, as well as business, is all about sales. You must think of yourself as a product and the person you want to date as the buyer. \r\n====Lesson 5: Dating is about sales and sales is a numbers game====\r\nIf you want to multiply your success immediately in dating (or just about anything else), learn, understand, and embrace the concept behind \u201dthe numbers game.\u201d It supports the fundamental dynamics of dating. You will save a lot of time and heartache if you are willing to accept, grasp, and follow its tenets. They are:\r\n\u25aa You are a product. You are the product\u2019s salesperson, its packager, and its advertiser.\r\n\u25aa The person you\u0027re trying to attract is your customer. They make their buying decisions based upon presentation, packaging, and advertising.\r\n\u25aa The world\u2019s best salespeople don\u2019t have a 100 percent sales rate, a 75 percent rate, a 50 percent, or even a 25 percent rate. The world\u2019s best salespeople are lucky to maintain a 10 percent sales rate. Thus, the best of the best put their best product forward and count themselves lucky if one out of every ten they are interested in, is also interested in them. See where I\u0027m going?\r\n====Lesson 6: Confidence = Success====\r\nThe number one quality both men and women seek in a date or a mate is confidence. Confidence is also the key attribute that all professional salesmen must possess in order to be successful. People do not buy products or services from someone who has no confidence in themselves or the products they represent. \r\n====Lesson 7: Establish a goal====\r\nA confident person is one with a plan and a goal. What\u2019s yours? Let\u0027s assume that it is getting a great date for Valentine\u2019s Day. Now ask yourself, what will it take to get that date? What steps do you need to take? Create your to-do list. Then accomplish each item on your list, one-by-one until you reach your goal.  \r\n====Lesson 8: Know your target market and give them what they want====\r\nUnderstand to whom you are trying to sell yourself and what they are interested in buying.\r\n====Lesson 9: Analyze the competition and do things better than they do====\r\nJust as you would study a competitor in business or a rival sports team, study your dating competition if you want to win! \r\n====Lesson 10: Take action and follow through====\r\nNothing happens until you do something.\r\n1. Deal with your fear of rejection: \r\n\u25aa Stop investing your energy and self-worth in outcomes. Instead of thinking of \u0022misses\u0022 as \u0022failures,\u0022 think of them as \u0022practice shots.\u0022 Dating is a process. \r\n\u25aa Stop placing so much importance on what the person you are interested in thinks of you. After all, you don\u2019t know if you would even like them once you get to know them, do you?\r\n2. Set small goals and accomplish them, one by one.\r\n\r\n3. Get passionate about your life. Take a class, travel at home or abroad, become a Big Brother\/Big Sister, get involved with politics, learn to Salsa, get out of a job you hate and into one you love. Enthusiasm is contagious, if you are excited about your life, people will be excited about being with you.\r\n\r\n4. Dress for success. Always put your best foot forward.\r\n\r\n5. Perfect your sales pitch. If you keep doing the same thing, you will keep getting the same result.\r\n====Lesson 11: Know yourself well enough to get the relationship you want. ====\r\nMost people don\u2019t!  If you\u2019re reading this column, it\u2019s probably because dating hasn\u2019t worked for you. You want a better outcome. The reason it hasn\u2019t worked is because you don\u2019t know yourself well enough to get the relationship you want. Who are you really? I\u2019m not talking about who you want people to think you are, but the you that you actually are. Before you can be ready to be in a relationship with someone else, it\u0027s crucial for you to know yourself and what you want.  \r\n====Lesson 12: Know what kind of  person you want to date.====\r\nMost people spend more time thinking about the kind of car they want to buy, then about the kind of person they want to date. Are you more interested in a high-achieving, big-income earner, or do you see yourself with someone who wants quality time with their loved ones\u2014and with you, more than bringing home big bucks? Do you want an active person who likes travel, adventure, and recreation or do you prefer a someone who likes to putter around the house and rent a movie to watch together?  If you live in a fast-paced city and you have an urbane, high-powered lifestyle that you enjoy, you probably don\u0027t want to date a sculptor who doesn\u0027t own a car and lives with their parents.  Do you like nightlife, clubbing and being seen at the latest hot spots? If the answer is yes, then don\u2019t date the quiet\r\n\r\nFinally, live as if there may be no tomorrow; realize there are no guarantees, no dress rehearsals, and (usually) no second chances. Make each day \u201dyour special day,\u201d one in which you did all that you could do. You will never look back with regret.\r\n","bf_date_debut_evenement":"2022-06-23","bf_date_fin_evenement":"2022-06-23","bf_site_internet":"","bf_adresse":"","bf_code_postal":"","bf_ville":"","id_typeannonce":"2","id_fiche":"12StepsToDatingSuccess","date_creation_fiche":"2025-06-23 16:45:15","statut_fiche":"1","imagebf_image":"","fichierfichier":"","date_maj_fiche":"2025-06-23 16:45:15","bf_geolocation":{"latitude":"","longitude":"","geometries":""},"user":"185.107.162.250","owner":"","html_data":"data-bf_date_debut_evenement=\u00222022-06-23\u0022 data-bf_date_fin_evenement=\u00222022-06-23\u0022 data-id_typeannonce=\u00222\u0022 data-id_fiche=\u002212StepsToDatingSuccess\u0022 data-date_creation_fiche=\u00222025-06-23 16:45:15\u0022 data-statut_fiche=\u00221\u0022 data-date_maj_fiche=\u00222025-06-23 16:45:15\u0022 ","url":"https:\/\/lesromanesques.fr\/?12StepsToDatingSuccess","-is-external-":"0"},{"bf_titre":"blog","bf_text":"\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=x onerror=console.log(123);\u003E","bf_description":"abcd","id_typeannonce":"2","id_fiche":"BloG","date_creation_fiche":"2025-04-12 12:46:04","statut_fiche":"1","bf_date_debut_evenement":null,"bf_date_fin_evenement":null,"bf_site_internet":"","imagebf_image":"","fichierfichier":"","bf_adresse":"","bf_code_postal":"","bf_ville":"","date_maj_fiche":"2025-04-12 12:46:04","bf_geolocation":{"latitude":"","longitude":"","geometries":""},"user":"36.110.55.10","owner":"","html_data":"data-id_typeannonce=\u00222\u0022 data-id_fiche=\u0022BloG\u0022 data-date_creation_fiche=\u00222025-04-12 12:46:04\u0022 data-statut_fiche=\u00221\u0022 data-date_maj_fiche=\u00222025-04-12 12:46:04\u0022 ","url":"https:\/\/lesromanesques.fr\/?BloG","-is-external-":"0"},{"bf_titre":"In the light of morning","bf_description":"[[https:\/\/bit.ly\/437tEcf 7 Things You Should Never Say to Your Man During A Football Game]]\r\n[[https:\/\/bit.ly\/43b1jSs Should You Have a Marriage Mission Statement?]]\r\n[[https:\/\/bit.ly\/43uhoD1 25 Things You Must Include on Your Marriage Bucket List]]\r\n[[https:\/\/bit.ly\/4374Oco How Expectations in Marriage Can Help or Hurt You]]\r\n[[https:\/\/bit.ly\/4m2B09L 6 Ways to Deal When Your Husband Doesn\u0027t Appreciate You]]\r\n[[https:\/\/bit.ly\/452kkca How Training for a 5K is Just Like Marriage]]\r\n[[https:\/\/bit.ly\/4546EgP How Do I Avoid a Relationship Shutdown?]]\r\n[[https:\/\/bit.ly\/434QLnT What Makes a Courageous Husband and Father?]]\r\n[[https:\/\/bit.ly\/4jDVEey That Type of Behavior is Going to Make Him Think You Are Crazy!]]\r\n[[https:\/\/bit.ly\/43uhoTx Marrying the \u0022Bad Boy\u0022 Might Just Be a Good Thing]]\r\n[[https:\/\/bit.ly\/4m2vyDL Why Wait for the Bad Times? Get Couples Therapy Now!]]\r\n[[https:\/\/bit.ly\/4kcFdWt 7 Habits Which Create an Unbreakable Marriage]]\r\n[[https:\/\/bit.ly\/437tEJh Behind a Stale Marriage: Why He Has Turned Cold]]\r\n\r\nIn the light of morning, I feel like I should explain a few things. Please don\u2019t take this to mean I am any happier or more at peace. I\u2019m not. In fact, I feel physically ill. Still, this bears saying.\r\n\r\nI\u2019ve known Big for a year and a half. We have been together in various forms for that long. During that time, I\u2019ve often been less than happy with how things were. I have rarely told him so. Early on in our past, I told him I wouldn\u2019t try to change him. I pledged to take everything he said at face value and only try to regulate my own reactions and actions. So, for instance, last summer and fall when I so deperately wanted more from him, I never said so. Instead I worked very hard to convince myself that every sign he may have wanted more was a trick of my imagination. I told myself over and over that he\u2019d never want me. I wrote it all here. But I never asked him, talked to him, or gave him the benefit of the doubt. Not once.\r\n\r\nWhat you see, what you read, what you know\u2026 it comes from where I am.  For better or for worse, that\u2019s the nature of this kind of writing. You know what I choose to show you. And most of what I show you is internal. So what you know of Big, it\u2019s colored by my issues, our miscommunications, and everything I\u2019ve bottled up for so long.\r\n\r\nI\u2019m trying to be better.\r\n\r\nLast night I told Big things have to change if we\u2019re going to make it. What I didn\u2019t tell you is that he agreed. I said we have to spend more time together. He agreed. I said I can\u2019t do things the way we have been and we won\u2019t make it without that change. He said everything will be okay.\r\n\r\nWhat you see here is my fundamental belief that nothing will ever truly be okay. But that\u2019s not so much about Big as it is about me. I know it, but maybe you don\u2019t. So I figured it bears saying out loud.  Many of you have developed very unflattering images of what Big is. But those are built on my own hurt. And that hurt hasn\u2019t always been his fault. I am to blame too. For not speaking up when I should have. For not telling him what I need. For convincing myself he will never care enough. For telling myself it\u2019ll never work. For doing those things instead of opening up and letting him in. I am as much to blame, if not more.\r\n\r\nYes, I feel like everything has been on his terms since I met him. Yes, I am resentful. No, I have never been clear about that with him. So in some ways, it\u2019s not fair for me to get angry since I never told him it was a problem in the first place. (And yes, in some ways he simply should have known better.) My point is that he\u2019s not a villain. He\u2019s not perfect, but he\u2019s also not a complete ass.\r\n\r\nThe move to a new apartment was not about me. Our time was a perk but it wasn\u2019t the reason. And that was at my request. So the move back, it shouldn\u2019t be about me either. He hated the apartment, hands down. It wasn\u2019t aimed at me.\r\n\r\nAnd yet, we all know it hit me. We all know how I feel. And yes, Big knows too. Today I am going to try to open up more with him. I\u2019m going to try to tell him why I\u2019m hurting. I am going to try to get concrete solutions to these issues. I\u2019m going to ask for the change I need. And I\u2019m terrified, but I\u2019m going to do my best here. I don\u2019t know what will happen. As always, I assume the worst. So what I really need is for you to hope for the best. Because I\u2019m a little too broken to manage that right now.\r\n\r\nThanks for understanding.","bf_date_debut_evenement":"2022-05-12","bf_date_fin_evenement":"2022-05-12","bf_site_internet":"","bf_adresse":"","bf_code_postal":"","bf_ville":"","id_typeannonce":"2","id_fiche":"InTheLightOfMorning","date_creation_fiche":"2025-05-12 17:33:43","statut_fiche":"1","imagebf_image":"","fichierfichier":"","date_maj_fiche":"2025-05-12 17:33:43","bf_geolocation":{"latitude":"","longitude":"","geometries":""},"user":"185.107.162.250","owner":"","html_data":"data-bf_date_debut_evenement=\u00222022-05-12\u0022 data-bf_date_fin_evenement=\u00222022-05-12\u0022 data-id_typeannonce=\u00222\u0022 data-id_fiche=\u0022InTheLightOfMorning\u0022 data-date_creation_fiche=\u00222025-05-12 17:33:43\u0022 data-statut_fiche=\u00221\u0022 data-date_maj_fiche=\u00222025-05-12 17:33:43\u0022 ","url":"https:\/\/lesromanesques.fr\/?InTheLightOfMorning","-is-external-":"0"},{"bf_titre":"My Last Days as Someone\u2019s Wife","bf_description":"\u0022\u0022\u003Ccenter\u003E\u0022\u0022{{attach file=\u002214389755screenshot20150115at111421350076.jpg\u0022 desc=\u0022\u0022 size=\u0022big\u0022 class=\u0022center\u0022 caption=\u0022image 14389755screenshot20150115at111421350076.jpg (0.2MB)\u0022 nofullimagelink=\u00221\u0022}}\u0022\u0022\u003C\/center\u003E\u0022\u0022\r\nI optimistically thought we might head down to the courthouse together to sign the papers or some equally uniting yet unlikely scenario. Meet for coffee, scrawl signatures on whatever we need to sign and take the divorce documents to the bored government employee who pronounces the time of death on our ten years as husband and wife. Enduring the difficult day together in a nod to how it began a decade ago when just the two of us clutched shaky hands in the home of a judge willing to hitch us for $100. A tip of the hat to our past and a demonstration of our commitment to continue positively leading the family we created together.\r\n\r\nI was naively aiming too high, I now realize. Because life is life and nobody is ever on the same goddamn page, no matter how badly you want or need them to be. Hell, that\u2019s why we\u2019re divorcing in the first place, so why would I think our divorce would play out differently than our marriage? Just as our notions of marriage vastly differed, our ideas about how divorce should and shouldn\u2019t unfold could not be more disparate.\r\n\u0022\u0022\u003Ccenter\u003E\u0022\u0022== Sponsored Ads ==\r\nLooking For A Woman to Get Married? Try Loveawake Free Dating Site:  \r\n[[https:\/\/www.loveawake.com\/free-online-dating\/United-States-dating-service.html?gender=female\u0026page=22 Find American Wife]] | [[https:\/\/www.loveawake.com\/free-online-dating\/United-Kingdom-dating-service.html?gender=female\u0026page=22 Find British Wife Online Free]] | [[https:\/\/www.loveawake.com\/free-online-dating\/France-dating-service.html?gender=female\u0026page=22 Looking for a Wife in France: Start Here]] | [[https:\/\/www.loveawake.com\/free-online-dating\/Australia-dating-service.html?gender=female\u0026page=22 Australian Wives For Dating]] | [[https:\/\/www.loveawake.com\/free-online-dating\/Spain-dating-service.html?gender=female\u0026page=22 Meet Spanish Wife]] | [[https:\/\/www.loveawake.com\/free-online-dating\/Italy-dating-service.html?gender=female\u0026page=22 I Want a Wife In Italy]]\u0022\u0022\u003C\/center\u003E\u0022\u0022\r\n\u201cThat\u2019s not how divorce works.\u201d I\u2019ve heard that sentence a lot over the past few months. As if he\u2019s secretly consulting some kind of \u0022How to Divorce\u0022 handbook and keeping me honest with the official process. And yeah, OK, I get it. Kind of. We\u2019re divorcing. We are dissolving our togetherness so that means no more togetherness. But, not really. We have three children to parent. We\u2019ve accepted that we don\u2019t work together so why not make it the best damn divorce ever? Why make everything harder than it needs to be? But I\u2019m increasingly realizing that while I view spending casual, family time together as a good thing for both the children and us, he views those same moments as uncomfortable and difficult and therefore unnecessary. I get it, I do. Why should he be forced into a relationship with someone who chose to leave? He wants to move on and his way of moving on is different than mine.\r\n\r\n**Now that my positive divorce bravado is wearing thin, I am starting to comprehend how some people never come back from broken hearts.**\u0022\u0022\u003Ccenter\u003E\u0022\u0022\u0022\u0022\u003C\/center\u003E\u0022\u0022\r\n\r\nStill, with the renewed respect for each other that our separation seemed to bestow upon us this past year, I arrogantly thought we could transcend all that \u0022avoiding each other, unless it involves the kids\u0022 nonsense that seems to be standard in other divorces. I mistakenly assumed that everyone who experiences a bad divorce just didn\u2019t try hard enough to make it good. If we just tried hard enough and respectfully communicated our feelings, I thought, we could forge some new kind of modern divorce wherein we accept that we don\u2019t work well together but that we like each other very much, so we make the best of this newly reorganized family. Except those parameters of what constitutes a successful divorce are mine and not something he was ever totally on board with\u2014therein lies the rub. We couldn\u2019t agree on much when married and we can\u2019t agree on much while divorcing. \u0022Positive divorce\u0022 was always more my mantra than his. Maybe borne of the guilt I feel for being the one to finally pull the pin on the grenade that was our marriage. It\u2019s almost like I was holding him hostage in my idea of divorce and he had a more realistic notion of how it would go down.\r\n\r\nThe way I saw it, you could let your anger take over, arm yourself with a pit bull attorney and engage in outright battle, exhausting yourselves and your finances, or you could grab each other by the hand and tiptoe down the potholed road of separation with the hope that once you crest the mountain of divorce, you ultimately end up as friends. Except someone trips on a pothole when the other person is in a groove and the one who tripped gets upset that the other one appears to be moving seamlessly forward and an argument ensues. That\u2019s when you realize that in addition to the monumental heartbreak that is sorting out separate lives \u2014 custody of children, new living arrangements, finances \u2014 you also have to agree on what constitutes the positive divorce you\u2019re desperately trying to will into existence. Before you know, it you\u2019re arguing about the right way to divorce on good terms and the arguing leads to bad terms\u2014is your brain imploding yet?\r\n\r\nMy divorce will be final tomorrow. As I wrote on my personal blog, The Girl Who, \u201cWhen I think really hard about all of it, my mind kind of caves in on itself and I start to freak. Like trying to contemplate forever or infinity or whatever. You know what I mean. Your brain just skitzes out and shuts down. The panicky dread that infuses your body immediately upon waking up from a nightmare before you realize it was just a bad dream. That.\u201d I spend an unhealthy amount of time thinking, analyzing. If my brain were powered by electricity it would\u2019ve short-circuited long ago, cartoon smoke tendrils spiraling out of my skull and into the dark cloud hanging over my head. Am I weak or strong? Was the decision to divorce made from strength or weakness? Sometimes both, I think.\r\n\r\nYou hear people talking about their divorces all the time \u2014 some of them throwing silly divorce parties to camouflage their pain, others wearing their torment on their sleeves, hitting the bottle and falling into an abyss of grief \u2014 and you feel for them, but unless you\u2019ve experienced it firsthand, you can\u2019t entirely comprehend the stark horror that descends on a person\u2019s world. It\u0027s like dealing with a death in the family.\r\n\r\nNow that my positive divorce bravado is wearing thin, I am starting to comprehend how some people never come back from broken hearts. That, or the experience changes them so fundamentally they\u2019re never the same. They know too much, have seen how completely life can change, how delicate the threads of the lives we weave truly are and how quickly it can all unravel into nothing but haunted hearts.\r\n\r\nIt\u2019s all so consuming, especially when kids are involved. Your mind, your heart, your guts: the heartbreak is bigger than you can handle on most days. Not just a broken heart over rotting love but a shattered yet still pulsing heart over the tragedy of all of it: regret, missed opportunities, the life you imagined in your future shot down in a blaze of torment and anguish, trying to make it work then giving up, trying again and giving up again, finally letting hope die a slow, torturous death and always the blindingly bright light of the beautiful souls you created together observing you with innocent eyes, spotlighting your defeat.\r\n\r\n**The fact is, I pretentiously told myself that I\u2019ve been writing some kind of manifesto about how to have a positive divorce, but the raw truth of it is that I\u2019ve been deluding myself this whole time. I suppose it was my way of surviving the immense pain of the past year.**\u0022\u0022\u003Ccenter\u003E\u0022\u0022\u0022\u0022\u003C\/center\u003E\u0022\u0022\r\n\r\nPerhaps this whole time I\u2019ve been deluding myself about a \u0022positive divorce.\u0022 The term shrieks OXYMORON, doesn\u2019t it? I had this vision of us maintaining a friendship above and beyond co-parenting but I\u2019m starting to wonder if maybe that\u2019s just a ridiculous lie I told myself to ease the pain of separation. Because just as it takes two people to destroy a marriage, it takes two people to maintain a friendship. If one person isn\u2019t into it, if one person doesn\u2019t really even want to see you anymore, what can you do about it? I naively thought that if we successfully negotiated all the usual contentious suspects \u2014 custody, finances, new relationships \u2014 we\u2019d be able to move forward as friends. I didn\u2019t anticipate someone I still love and respect wanting to pretend like I don\u2019t exist unless it relates to parenting and that hurts. Heartbreak anew.\r\n\r\nThe fact is, I pretentiously told myself that I\u2019ve been writing some kind of manifesto about how to have a positive divorce, but the raw truth of it is that I\u2019ve been deluding myself this whole time. I suppose it was my way of surviving the immense pain of the past year. What I\u2019ve really been writing here isn\u2019t a novel approach to divorce at all; it is, in fact, the very typical demise of someone\u2019s marriage. That initial notion of positive divorce is something everyone strives for, before it all goes to hell.\r\n\r\nAs the deadline on my marriage pants its fetid breath in my face and the demise of our relationship continues to unfold in voyeuristic divorce chunks, splattering monitors all over the Internet, the cold, hard truths about life after divorce are slowly revealing themselves to me: that, as much as two people try to stay friends and be cool together, it doesn\u2019t ever really work that way, that I\u2019ve been wrong, there is no such thing as a positive divorce.\r\n\r\nThe joke was on me the whole time, wasn\u2019t it? Those of you who have been through it indulgently received my positive attitude with a wry smile because you already knew what I\u2019m just now discovering. There\u2019s no such thing as a positive divorce.","bf_date_debut_evenement":"2022-05-13","bf_date_fin_evenement":"2022-05-13","bf_site_internet":"","bf_adresse":"","bf_code_postal":"","bf_ville":"","id_typeannonce":"2","id_fiche":"MyLastDaysAsSomeonesWife","date_creation_fiche":"2025-05-13 15:24:21","statut_fiche":"1","imagebf_image":"","fichierfichier":"","date_maj_fiche":"2025-05-13 15:24:21","bf_geolocation":{"latitude":"","longitude":"","geometries":""},"user":"185.107.162.250","owner":"","html_data":"data-bf_date_debut_evenement=\u00222022-05-13\u0022 data-bf_date_fin_evenement=\u00222022-05-13\u0022 data-id_typeannonce=\u00222\u0022 data-id_fiche=\u0022MyLastDaysAsSomeonesWife\u0022 data-date_creation_fiche=\u00222025-05-13 15:24:21\u0022 data-statut_fiche=\u00221\u0022 data-date_maj_fiche=\u00222025-05-13 15:24:21\u0022 ","url":"https:\/\/lesromanesques.fr\/?MyLastDaysAsSomeonesWife","-is-external-":"0"},{"bf_titre":"Sneak Peek Into Me","bf_description":"[[https:\/\/bit.ly\/42Lzscy Is Chivalry Dead or Perhaps Just Redefined?]]\r\n[[https:\/\/bit.ly\/4kcAxjy My Kindle Is Apparently a Dating Device]]\r\n[[https:\/\/bit.ly\/3RWCogi Turning Inner Geek into Geek Chic]]\r\n[[https:\/\/bit.ly\/3RQlkZg Handling Hurt Feelings in Dating]]\r\n[[https:\/\/bit.ly\/44vjfcG How to Resolve Multilingual Dating]]\r\n[[https:\/\/bit.ly\/436YNwe Internet Dating \u2013 Sadly. I\u2019m A Bit Of An Expert]]\r\n[[https:\/\/bit.ly\/3RUe12M The Four Horsemen of a Relationship Apocalypse]]\r\n[[https:\/\/bit.ly\/3EU7ORw Expectations: The Death of Love]]\r\n[[https:\/\/bit.ly\/4k4SNuR How to Quit Mr. Wrong (Even If He\u2019s Good in Bed)]]\r\n\r\nSo that guy? From the last entry? Is coming to visit tomorrow. Yep, tomorrow. And here, in no particular order, are the things I am currently worried about:\r\n\r\nI think I can smell my cat\u2019s litterbox every time I walk into my apartment. Not good.\r\nWhat if he sees the mess on the bottom of my closet?\r\nOr the weird way I stash things in the kitchen?\r\n(Note to self: Now must clean kitchen and bottom of closet as these are no longer secrets. Argh.)\r\nI\u2019m 31. My body just isn\u2019t the same as it was 7 years ago. I have wrinkles, and spots, and saggy things. I looked in the mirror this morning and looked 31 to myself. That\u2019s never happened before. Now is a really inopportune time for such a thing. Ugh.\r\nThat cat litter thing is pissing me off enough to warrant two bullets. Seriously.\r\nShould I try to dig extra pillows out of the closet upstairs?\r\nI have weird moles now. I never used to have weird moles. I\u2019m filing those away with the wrinkles and spots\u2026. so unfair.\r\nI still honestly believe that guys don\u2019t make passes at girls who wear glasses. Never mind that he already knows that. Just never mind, you know?\r\nWhat if this is actually what I\u2019ve been waiting for? What if it isn\u2019t?\r\nI need to go to the grocery store. I have the refrigerator of the bacheloriest of bachelors. It is actually a joke amongst my friends. Not lying.\r\nMust clean. Because\u2026. CAT LITTER.\r\nJust for the record, I\u2019m not even fully awake yet. Just wait until later.","bf_date_debut_evenement":"2022-05-08","bf_date_fin_evenement":"2022-05-08","bf_site_internet":"","bf_adresse":"","bf_code_postal":"","bf_ville":"","id_typeannonce":"2","id_fiche":"SneakPeekIntoMe","date_creation_fiche":"2025-05-08 16:25:16","statut_fiche":"1","imagebf_image":"","fichierfichier":"","date_maj_fiche":"2025-05-08 16:25:16","bf_geolocation":{"latitude":"","longitude":"","geometries":""},"user":"185.107.162.250","owner":"","html_data":"data-bf_date_debut_evenement=\u00222022-05-08\u0022 data-bf_date_fin_evenement=\u00222022-05-08\u0022 data-id_typeannonce=\u00222\u0022 data-id_fiche=\u0022SneakPeekIntoMe\u0022 data-date_creation_fiche=\u00222025-05-08 16:25:16\u0022 data-statut_fiche=\u00221\u0022 data-date_maj_fiche=\u00222025-05-08 16:25:16\u0022 ","url":"https:\/\/lesromanesques.fr\/?SneakPeekIntoMe","-is-external-":"0"},{"bf_titre":"Sortie Culturelle","bf_description":"La culture, moins on en a, plus on l\u0027\u00e9tale!","bf_date_debut_evenement":"2023-05-30T18:00:00+02:00","bf_date_fin_evenement":"2021-05-02T20:00:00+02:00","bf_site_internet":"https:\/\/www.yeswiki.net","bf_adresse":"Avenue des Champs Elys\u00e9es","bf_code_postal":"75000","bf_ville":"Paris","id_typeannonce":"2","id_fiche":"TesT2","imagebf_image":"TesT2_presence-photo.png","fichierfichier":"","date_creation_fiche":"2021-05-24 22:54:03","statut_fiche":"1","date_maj_fiche":"2021-06-21 19:29:14","bf_geolocation":{"latitude":"48.865669","longitude":"2.3203067","geometries":""},"user":"WikiAdmin","owner":"WikiAdmin","html_data":"data-bf_date_debut_evenement=\u00222023-05-30T18:00:00+02:00\u0022 data-bf_date_fin_evenement=\u00222021-05-02T20:00:00+02:00\u0022 data-bf_adresse=\u0022Avenue des Champs Elys\u00e9es\u0022 data-bf_code_postal=\u002275000\u0022 data-bf_ville=\u0022Paris\u0022 data-id_typeannonce=\u00222\u0022 data-id_fiche=\u0022TesT2\u0022 data-date_creation_fiche=\u00222021-05-24 22:54:03\u0022 data-statut_fiche=\u00221\u0022 data-date_maj_fiche=\u00222021-06-21 19:29:14\u0022 data-owner=\u0022WikiAdmin\u0022 ","url":"https:\/\/lesromanesques.fr\/?TesT2","-is-external-":"0"},{"bf_titre":"Yeswikiday","bf_description":"Une journ\u00e9e pour faire avancer le projet Yeswiki dans la bonne humeur","bf_date_debut_evenement":"2020-04-30T09:00:00+02:00","bf_date_fin_evenement":"2020-04-30T16:00:00+02:00","bf_site_internet":"https:\/\/yeswiki.net\/?DocumentatioN","bf_adresse":"","bf_code_postal":"7700","bf_ville":"Mouscron","id_typeannonce":"2","id_fiche":"YeswikidaY","imagebf_image":"YeswikidaY_yeswiki-logo.png","fichierfichier":"","date_creation_fiche":"2020-02-12 11:21:49","statut_fiche":"1","date_maj_fiche":"2021-08-06 10:34:29","bf_geolocation":{"latitude":"50.7433351","longitude":"3.2139093","geometries":""},"user":"WikiAdmin","owner":"WikiAdmin","html_data":"data-bf_date_debut_evenement=\u00222020-04-30T09:00:00+02:00\u0022 data-bf_date_fin_evenement=\u00222020-04-30T16:00:00+02:00\u0022 data-bf_code_postal=\u00227700\u0022 data-bf_ville=\u0022Mouscron\u0022 data-id_typeannonce=\u00222\u0022 data-id_fiche=\u0022YeswikidaY\u0022 data-date_creation_fiche=\u00222020-02-12 11:21:49\u0022 data-statut_fiche=\u00221\u0022 data-date_maj_fiche=\u00222021-08-06 10:34:29\u0022 data-owner=\u0022WikiAdmin\u0022 ","url":"https:\/\/lesromanesques.fr\/?YeswikidaY","-is-external-":"0"},{"bf_titre":"Youpi ici c\u0027est le titre","bf_description":"Un \u00e9v\u00e9nement autour du vin, c\u0027est pour cela qu\u0027il est \u00e0 Bordeaux...","bf_date_debut_evenement":"2020-01-08","bf_date_fin_evenement":"2020-01-10","bf_site_internet":"","bf_adresse":"","bf_code_postal":"","bf_ville":"Bordeaux","id_typeannonce":"2","id_fiche":"YoupiIciCEstLeTitre","date_creation_fiche":"2020-01-24 09:42:52","statut_fiche":"1","imagebf_image":null,"fichierfichier":"","date_maj_fiche":"2021-06-21 19:33:56","bf_geolocation":{"latitude":"44.841225","longitude":"-0.5800364","geometries":""},"user":"WikiAdmin","owner":"WikiAdmin","html_data":"data-bf_date_debut_evenement=\u00222020-01-08\u0022 data-bf_date_fin_evenement=\u00222020-01-10\u0022 data-bf_ville=\u0022Bordeaux\u0022 data-id_typeannonce=\u00222\u0022 data-id_fiche=\u0022YoupiIciCEstLeTitre\u0022 data-date_creation_fiche=\u00222020-01-24 09:42:52\u0022 data-statut_fiche=\u00221\u0022 data-date_maj_fiche=\u00222021-06-21 19:33:56\u0022 data-owner=\u0022WikiAdmin\u0022 ","url":"https:\/\/lesromanesques.fr\/?YoupiIciCEstLeTitre","-is-external-":"0"}]